Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Goodbye...Hello...(a really long post)

At this point, each day is a big question mark...
Is little P (that's what we call him...P for peanut) going to make his grand entrance today?  No?  Not today?  Tomorrow?  Well...When?!?  He seems to be taking his sweet little time...
I decided I should make one last official entry just in case the little guy decides to show up sooner rather than later.  So with that said, it is time to say goodbye to my bump and hello--hopefully very soon--to my baby!
I haven't written a lot about pregnancy...I haven't written much about anything lately.  A lot of that is to due with the fact that the past nine months have been a whirlwind and I have barely been able to keep up with the mandatory day to day stuff, much less anything else. But it's also because I realized very early that something about this time in my life felt sacred to me and I didn't want to share it.  Call me selfish...I don't mind.  We all know someone that has posted a play by play of their pregnancy on their facebook/twitter page or even made their unborn child a facebook page to chronicle every single ounce, kick and ultrasound. (Seriously...people do this.  It's gross.)  I just couldn't do it.  It has been a moment too special to blab about to just anyone.

 (my bump at 39 weeks...)

Now with that said, the past nine months have not been totally serious all the time.  This is me we are talking about.  Fortunately I have a sense of humor because some of the things that people have said to me would make others cry...like when an old lady completely uninvited told me I looked too enormous to be having just one child. (Actually, she wasn't even participating in the conversation I was having and was too far away to be eavesdropping, meaning she actually had to track me down)  And she didn't stop there.  She insisted in spite of my best "bless your old crazy heart" smile (aka: stone cold silence and a tight, cool smile) that I go back to my doctor and demand another ultrasound because I was way too big to make it to September.  All the while I was thinking, "you may not be making it to September either, old lady."

Yesterday some guy actually yelled out at me across the sidewalk--as in across the street on the other sidewalk, "Damn! I hope you're using plenty cocoa butter, lady!"  What is that?  Have you ever needed to say something so badly that you actually shouted across a busy street to a stranger?

And last week was probably the best...at a pre-Fashion Week conference that will remain unnamed because I love the organization that hosted it (and it's not their fault that everyone there was a twit), I was told that I had so much 'courage' for being out at Fashion Week. Wait...what?  What the heck does that mean?  That happened within the first 45 seconds of arriving.  The rest of the day went something like this...
"I'm amazed you are here.  Good for you!"
"I really admire your courage/bravery/whatever for making it to the conference.  Isn't it hard to be here?"  The person who said the last part was referring to the sea of perfectly skinny blondes under 25 that I was surrounded by.  Well, I wasn't until now.  Thanks pal.
"Oh wow.  You can wear heels when you're pregnant?  I didn't know that!"
"How old are you?"  Apparently, only really, really, REALLY old people have babies.
"Do you need an extra lunch box?  This may not be enough for you..." Grrr...
Needless to say, I came home early from said conference.  One can only take so many beatings in a day.

Fashion's Night Out wasn't much better the next night.  We walked into one store in Soho and everyone stared at me like "Are pregnant people allowed to go out at night???"  Only when it's not a full moon, friend.  And it just went down from there...(repeat above commentary but with champagne.)

People, PLEASE!  Use a filter!  Don't tell the poor pregnant girl that she is a whale! Trust me...she knows exactly what she looks like.  Don't tell her the story about your neighbor's cousin's daughter's best friend who only gained 17 pounds and how she did a triathlon in her third trimester, looks better than ever post baby, learned a new language during maternity leave and had a two hour delivery without an epidural.  It never happened!  Don't ask her how much weight she has gained.  And DO NOT touch her belly!  When a girl is pregnant all she wants to hear is the following:
"You look amazing"
"Your hair and skin have never looked better."
"Pregnancy suits you!"
"You are the cutest little preggars I've ever seen"
or  some version of the above.  It doesn't have to be true...we know you are probably lying.  Doesn't matter.  Don't Be Mean! 

On the other hand, there are some perks.  D and I seem to get seated much more quickly at crowded restaurants when the host sees that I'm pregnant.  Recently 20-30 minute waits have been more like 10-15 or less.  I don't care why...a table is a table in New York.  People let me cut in line at the grocery store, and the nice people at the downtown food trucks give me a free drink while I wait sometimes.  I haven't had to carry anything in so long I'm not even sure I can recognize the notion anymore. And my husband, friends and family have treated me like a goddess on a lily pad in the middle of a pond guarded by magical fairies wearing couture...you get the picture.
It's pretty amazing.  There are other pretty amazing things too like feeling kicks and seeing your child--something you made--grow via ultrasound.  Hearing its heartbeat and finding out its gender.  I can't describe it.  It's just magic.    All in all, I'm going to miss my magical little bump.  It is hard to imagine that it will be gone so soon, but at the same time, the trade off is pretty great.  A son...a beautiful new life with a big beautiful future.  I can't wait.

 Goodbye bump!  Hello baby!


1 comment:

  1. Don't worry all those freebies still work when you've got a baby in arm or attached to you in some other way. David will appreciate that it works for dads too. :)

    Except maybe the carrying things, that triples, but hey it's a free arm work out!

    Can't wait to meet Peanut!