pink flamingos and a pep talk...

So darling BFF sent me another awesome email, and I, of course, wanted to pay it forward...

I'm not sure that anybody loves the pep talks as much as I do...I've actually been told a time or two that I should post less text and post more pictures.  

Well...too bad.  It's my blog and anybody who knows me knows I talk too much.  Can't help it...

but I am a girl who believes that compromise is the slice of life, so here is a picture of a boat full of holiday flamingos for the all of the picture lovers... 

alice and jay, November 7, 2010

Now for those of you who like to read...  

Enjoy this empowering article, part of a five part series by Tyler Vooren

xo...

ki

EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY

If there’s anything that paralyzes people over and over again, it’s the fear of the unknown. Yet, when it comes to living the lives we truly want, the only path there is to follow is never very well defined.
The natural response of your lizard brain (the part that always tells you to be careful) to uncertainty is immediate fear and rejection. It doesn’t want you to change. The tricky part is that this fear and rejection doesn’t usually broadcast itself in some dramatic display of emotion that you’d only see in a movie. It’s much sneakier and far more subversive.
Here’s what it’s more likely to look like:

• Just 10 more minutes on Facebook
• One more show and then I’ll go to work
• I’m too tired to go out and meet people tonight
• One more day of junk food and then I’ll start my diet

The lizard brain has been a very strong component of our psyches for a long time and it knows all the best tricks to keep you from trying anything that isn’t a sure bet. It knows that it doesn’t have to convince you to give up your idea altogether, it only has to talk you out of doing something crazy right now – to put it off for just a bit longer.

• I’ll work on my music tomorrow. Right now I’m really enjoying this TV show.
• I’ll straighten out my finances tomorrow so I can quit my job. Right now I need to come up with a witty Twitter update.
• I’ll look for a mentor later. I’m really engrossed in this book right now.

It’s a brilliant trick, really, because it can be repeated every day and we’re happy to oblige it. That’s what’s comfortable.
I fall victim to my lizard brain all the time. I face it every time I sit down to write an article. Even this one! Right now!
The only way to beat it is to flip the whole comfort ideal on its head and start working backwards. We have to seek out and embrace uncertainly at all costs. We have to look for opportunities to take risks in everything we do.
Rather than look for more of the same ways to stay comfortable, we have to constantly search for new ways to become uncomfortable. You see, the best way to know that your lizard brain is beating you is by not even realizing that it’s there. When all is calm, he’s resting peacefully.
Checking Facebook, watching TV and reading magazines keeps your lizard brain very happy. Rest assured, though, that he’ll wake right up as soon as you confront him with some crazy idea like selling your art, starting a business, or climbing a mountain. He won’t just wake up, though. He’ll be pissed off.
Sal is pissed off.
Sal is my lizard brain and he’s mad that I’m writing this. In fact, he’s really mad because he knows it’s about him. The best advice I’ve ever gotten about confronting your lizard brain came from a great mentor, Pam Slim. She said the best way to confront the lizard is to give it a name and think of it more as a teammate than an adversary. Boy was she right.
I named mine Sal Mander and made him my pet and it’s made all the difference in the world. I’m sure that sounds ridiculous, but that’s the whole point. By externalizing it and making him my imaginary pet, I can talk to him and thank him for his concern about my welfare – just like you’d pat your dog on the forehead for guarding the door at night.
I can picture Sal sitting on the table across from me, very frustrated that I’m writing about him. And that’s exactly how I know that this is what I should be doing. The more upset Sal is, the more nervous and uncertain I am. And, thus, the more likely that what I’m doing actually has some merit. I can use Sal like a tool to gauge the value of my projects.
The more you try this, the more you’ll realize how fun it can be to face the unknown and try things that aren’t in your comfort zone.
And that’s what embracing uncertainty is all about – not just recognizing or accepting that you have to put up with it to get what you really want, but finding the joy and pleasure that can come from the pursuit itself, because here’s something they never teach you in school: the pursuit has to be fun, because the destination doesn’t matter.
No matter what we’ve been told, nothing in life is guaranteed, even if it seems safe and comfortable. As long as that’s true, we might as well be working on something that makes a difference to us and to others.
Are you embracing uncertainty?

a different kind of am inspiration...

Yesterday BFF sent me this article by Ashley Ambirge, and I loved it...

This is for all of you girls out there who know you are destined for great things...Amazing things.  You can feel it.  But it just hasn't happened yet.  And now, it feels like an eternity has passed without results, and those black clouds of self doubt are rolling in and blanketing your thoughts and dreams, suffocating you, and crushing your self esteem.  You find yourself wondering if these goals and dreams will ever happen.  Maybe you are kidding yourself.  Maybe you aren't destined for great things...

I know this feeling.  I know it very well...BFF knows this feeling too, which is why she sent me this article.  Anyone who has ever decided to do something different knows the feeling.  Going against the grain, living like a gypsy, searching for your passion is not easy.  It takes a lot of self confidence.  A lot.  And time (lots and lots of time).  And good people, like our BFF's and Ashley Ambirge, to remind you that you will make it.... 

Enjoy!   

xo...
ki

Defiance or Defeat?  You Pick. 

Sometimes the shit hits the fan.

Sometimes, you find yourself living out of your car, storing all of your toiletries in an oversize red purse, lodging sweatshirts in between head rests and sun roof panels to block the windows so you can sleep, explaining to unsympathetic credit card companies that you can’t pay your $41 minimum payment because you’ve got negative $12 in your bank account, having borderline nervous breakdowns over what Equifax is going to have to say about all this, showering once every other day whenever someone is kind enough to let you use their water, subsisting on coffee and McDonald’s Snack Wraps, and finally starting to grasp why the homeless have a reputation for being alcoholics.

Been there.

Sometimes, the shit hits the fan, and you can’t seem to reach the plug, so all you can do is duck and then curl up into the fetal position, and hope it doesn’t hit you too hard.

Sometimes, the there’s going to be a whole bunch of obstacles and challenges that feel almost as if there’s an evil man with a curly mustache and maroon-colored, 1980’s style gym shorts in the clouds whose sole job is to make your life hell and watch with delight as you struggle to manage while he slowly sips on a vat of Banker’s Club brandy from a gaudy crystal glass.

Sometimes, it’s going to seem that bad.

Sometimes, it’s going to feel impossible.

Sometimes, you’re going to be launched into a bout of despair.

Sometimes, NOTHING.  WILL.  SEEM.  FAIR.

Sometimes, everything will seem bleak.

Sometimes, everything will BE bleak.

And you’ll be angry.

And it will break your heart.

And you’ll start to question everything about yourself.

Your intelligence, your choices, your dreams, your LIFE.

You’ll wonder:  Am I fooling myself?  Who am I to have such big aspirations?  Obviously I’m not good enough, or I wouldn’t be living out of my car, eating McDonald’s snack wraps and having delusional thoughts about men in maroon-colored gym shorts.

And–dammit!–you’ll start to withdraw.  You’ll start to step back from the war against mediocrity.  You’ll feel intimidated, and then you’ll feel petrified, and THEN you will let those feelings decide the outcome of your life.

DO NOT LET YOURSELF BECOME A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES.

Because sometimes, you’ve just got to pick yourself up off the bar floor with all your might, use all of your remaining energy to dust the empty peanut shells off your jacket, and GO AT IT AGAIN.

This is not a post about imagining the silver lining.

This is about taking the sharpest knife you can find, cutting through all of the bullshit, and yanking that lining out with your bare hands.

That’s all that we can do.

So,

Be confident in your quest.

Be arrogant when it comes to your desires.

And be downright defiant when it comes to adversity.

There is no other way.

To read more from the very brazen and inspiring Ashley Ambirge, click on the title link at the top of the page to be directed to her website... 

Oh and pass this along to someone who could use a little encouragement today...

xo